Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Breaking Dawn: Part 1


I'm glad to see November go...it's been a long month. No more blogging daily for me!

Finally went to see "Breaking Dawn- Part 1" today. My husband doesn't have any interest in seeing it, & ultimately, the best time to go see it is on a weekday (when most of the masses of people are at work, not the mall) It was good, well as good as such things can be (most of the people reading this could probably care less about it). I'm not "in" to Harry Potter, I like Twilight much better. (but I don't fall into the fanatical stage about that either) There were approximently five people in the theater (all female, this is very much the "chick" series) all crying over their popcorn & salting their cokes with their tears. (a true sisterhood, as it were)

Without spoiling anything, between the wedding (beginning of the movie) and the emergency C-Section (end of the movie) it was really action-packed (deviating slightly from the book, to make more of a plot). Things got very, very graphic toward the end of the movie and one person went to the exit and just stood there, with their back to the movie. (for the rest of the movie, a good 20 minutes) I get that it was probably a little too much for them but if it were me, I'd go off and do something else, instead of just standing there. (what good is paying for a movie, if you're not watching it?) That was pretty odd. All I can say is, it wouldn't be the best of movies to watch if you had any sort of food aversions(or were in the first trimester of pregnancy). I've seen a real C-Section (and it wasn't nearly as bloody as the hack job in the movie),but it was still kind of disturbing seeing the effects on the heroine.(I would prefer NOT to end up as bad off as that) Probably not the greatest movie to watch when you're in the 3rd trimester either. At the end, I was getting ready to leave & the person up above my seat told me to stick around, there was one more scene after the credits. (which will lead to the next part)

The next two "parts" don't come out till a year/2 years from now...I've read the book already, so I know what happens but waiting is just too hard!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

NaPoBloMo:Diet Coke Fun!





Answering the age-old question...how many used test strips does it take to fill up a 20 oz DC bottle?

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Monday, November 28, 2011

NST: Take #2

Captain's Log: Starda(y!) #229

Babies Weight: 4.6 lbs (it's mind boggling how much weight they gain from week 28 on!)

Weeks: Almost 33

Contractions: yes,but much fewer then last week,although my amniotic fluid index has jumped from 25 to 29. I really hope that that is the natural peak,& not the fact that my blood sugars went to pot last week over the irresistible pecan pie/potato/etc.holiday smorgasbord. 33 weeks is supposed to be the "peak"fluid week,& the babies weight is normal. Peri isn't worried.

Movement: not so much on my part,on his,constantly!!

Current complaint list: First Trimester Deja Vu all over again...you name it,I've got it. With the additional challenges of the Third Trimester.

Nursery Status: Ready,once the crib gets reassembled.

Next NST: Thursday...this baby is being well monitored!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

NapoBloMo-Day #27

Happy Birthday to Mr. Handsome!



(no baby handsome,as of yet...and that's ok!)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Day #26 (NaPoBloMo)

There was a time when life, as you knew it, was much more simple. When you didn't have to measure,carb-count, guess-ti-mate,SWAG etc. every single carbohydrate that went into your mouth. When food was food,not something that could simultaneously kill/save you.

That was before. Before D came along. Some of us have never really really known a "before", for others, there were many years spent with the "before." The thing about the "before",is,that for many of us, it may never come again (sorry for the downer opinion,yours may vary,& I certainly hope I'm not right). The years dull the memories of some things but for others, the diabetes stuff gets so hardwired into your psyche that you doubt it ever could get itself undone. It's all normal.

Fact: I'm ready to go back to the "just diabetes" phase of existence. I miss sleep, I miss my back muscles not hurting, I miss Chai Tea Lattes (and everything Starbucks),I miss having clothes that would fit, and I miss not having to bolus a unit every time I even look at a carbohydrate, I miss just worrying about the D-Stuff. Vaguely I recall those days where doctor appointments weren't every week,and I'm ready to go back to them. I guess just because something becomes "normal", it still doesn't mean that you particularly love it. I know there are people for whom pregnancy is a 10 month nightmare(bed rest, the whole 9 yards)but I can't even begin to explain what its like, with diabetes. Every day that ends (without disaster) is the best thing that happened that day. I guess when you go to the doc (and everything is a constant stream of negativity) that really doesn't put you in the mindframe of "enjoying your pregnancy." I'm not afraid of caring for a newborn anymore, for even the demands of that is the successful conclusion of the 3rd Trimester. And yeah, I'm nowhere NEAR 39 weeks. My patience has kind of run out (and I would really like to hop in a time machine & fast-forward to the end of December) & I want a healthy,bouncing, bundle o' joy to be here.(NOW) And if it sounds like I'm complaining, I guess I am..there's gotta be some place I can let it all out & it had just as well be here. (which very few folks go) It's my opinion that the people who enjoy their pregnancies don't have complicating medical conditions involved.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Blue Friday: Four




(life is much more interesting when you don't wear the same color of socks!)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, November 24, 2011

NaPoBloMo Day #24

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so worn out with traveling, family,& bouncing blood sugars I have absolutely nothing to say..but I hope it's been a good one for you and yours!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Chef de Llehs

Let the mess-making commence. Rarely do I actually bake,& I know I'm supposed to be all domisticated & stuff by this point (I really do know how...I just don't enjoy it) because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (so they say) but I find my own baking slightly repulsive (don't ask me why, its a weird hangup I have,everyone else seems to think its just fine), there's more to the story then I'm just too lazy to do it. Nothing like the holidays to make you do it anyway.







(green bean casserole, muffins)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Christmas Baby (Maybe?)

Fortunately, the eye exam didn't reveal anything dire. It's just a floater (in the words of my eye doctor: "due to getting older." Yes, he knows that I'm 30, and since when did turning 30 put me in the middle-age category?) A black, blob-ish, floater. (being nearsighted, I have a few floaters, but they've never been black/grey, they're the pencil line variety)
Better safe then sorry though (I'm glad I got it checked out). Hopefully it will fade.

No word on when I might expect an induction, the OB-GYN said around 39 weeks. (if it hasn't happened by then) I'm not quite getting how, if anytime after 37 weeks (considered: full-term) is considered just fine, why they would wait till 39 weeks to induce. I guess the womb is a nice,welcoming,nurturing place but 39 weeks just seems too long. I read in my nursing textbooks that diabetic placentas also age faster then non-diabetic placentas (aka, start degrading around 37-38 weeks). And if the baby is too large...that can certainly play a role? (according to the obgyn, that really didn't matter in terms of induction, maybe she meant that would be grounds for a C-Section)

We won't be going anywhere for Christmas, though. (that much is pretty clear) 37 weeks is just after Christmas. (and even 3.5 hours away with family is too far away) Or, it could be a New Year's Baby. Or, it could be a 2012 baby. Time will tell.

Monday, November 21, 2011

NapoBloMo-Day #21

The only thing that can be said about today, is that it hasn't started well & I think the ending may be even worse.


Today was my first non-stress test. That was a fairly uneventful event, (4 very pregnant people in lounge chairs hooked up to electrodes) until I noticed that the contractions graph was having ACTUAL JUMPS on it,& at this point in the process, I have no business having contractions. The nurse noticed and asked A. if I was feeling them and B. how far along I was. No, I'm not feeling them. (yes, they are actual contractions) What the Sam's Hill?? As far as the heartrate/variability/baby moving went, he is very active.

And then it was time for the ultrasound. I was feeling pretty bummed/on the point of tears over the contractions when the doctor came in and asked how I was (answer "overwhelmed") which he assured me was perfectly understandable on the verge of the beginning of the end. The placental blood flow & everything looked ok, the amniotic fluid index has actually gone down 2 points & the contractions are likely perfectly normal, given the increased amniotic fluid index. As long as the contractions aren't painful there is no need to be overly concerned. See you in a week.

With my nerves freshly shot from that, I got to schedule an emergency appointment with my eye doctor for the large black "floater" that has been swimming around in my right eye for the past 2 days. (the thing shows no signs of going away,initially I thought it was from a headache but nope) I had my eye appointment for the year in October (which showed things to be absolutely perfect, D-wise) but apparently my right eye didn't get the memo. (so here I go again this afternoon)

I think I'm falling apart.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Day #20-Napoblomo


I eat everything I come in contact with...kid-themed or not!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A Blast from the Past: Day #19


I found this today...and I'm pretty sure it's the last one on Planet Earth. Long, long ago, Staples & Office Depot would actually give you vouchers for $3 off your next purchase, no minimum required (on the spot, when you turned in ink cartridges). They could be "stacked" (aka, used with 2 more vouchers) and combined with coupons & one's total Out of Pocket costs were very, very low. (and even more weird, the vouchers were all the same so there were no unique codes on the vouchers) It's not like that now, if you turn in ink cartridges it'll be 90+ days before you see the rewards in your "account" and you have to spend $$ at the store to even get the rewards.

But this beauty of these coupons are...that they never expire,so nostalgia aside, I'm going to spend it (one of these days). Maybe not even the manager will know what these were, its been so long since they were in vogue!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

NaPoBloMo- Day #17



Darth Meter Strikes Back....

(with the vast majority of today's readings in the 60's, and one at 209) . Stellar diabetes day, all around.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Banking with Baby


I know it's controversial (and very much in the "experimental" stages)but stem cells already can treat/cure many types of cancers. And I believe that one day,they'll be able to "grow" parts of organs, etc. (from stem cells) Maybe even cure diabetes, or something else.(should they be unfortunate enough to inherit my screwed up genes) So we've made the decision to save our kid's cord blood. (kit goes to the hospital with me)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Days are Just Packed



(does this infant carrier come with an infant? sadly, no,that takes 9+ months)



(the saga of the never ending blood sugar logs..)



Sam Talbot is an fiery chef with ecletic taste buds!



I got my flu shot today. I had to go to TWO CVS's to do so, because the first had an issue with my insurance (& I would have had to pay for the whole thing out of pocket) whereas the 2nd store would cover it (if it were under the guise of being a "Minute Clinic" appointment with a nurse practitioner). It wasn't that inconvenient,really, (there are quite a few CVS's in the area) but flu shots feel nothing like an insulin injection & really,please don't say that they do. And so that's done. (I will wake up tomorrow & feel like I've been hit by a bus, but it's better then being hit by the flu)



(please?)

Monday, November 14, 2011

World Diabetes Day: 2011

Today is World Diabetes Day.


Today, like millions of people all over the world, I didn't get to have the day off from diabetes. (for good behavior) Whether you've lived with it 30 years or 30 days...it is simply there,and it will be there (likely) for some time to come. Today, I awoke (for the 2nd time) with the chalky flavor of glucose tablets still lingering on my taste buds. That is the price for being alive.

Today,there is still no cure. No cure for the millions who have been diagnosed (in the almost 90 years since the discovery of insulin). Babies, kids,teens,adults...we all owe our lives (or if T2...continued health) to the discovery of this one drug. For as much as I'm grateful for insulin,and as much as I realize that future life would not have existed (this baby sponsored by Sanofi-Aventis)..it's still diabetes,& I'd really,really,really like a cure.

Today, the flame of hope still burns...and will burn, until there's a cure.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

NaPoBloMo-Day #13

Today, I'm going to share with you a YouTube Video...from a talented young artist with T1 diabetes!



I love her illustrations. (toward the story line) I can't draw that well..but if I could, I'd love to do something like that on YouTube.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

NaPoBloMo- Day #12

A few weeks ago, we were in California (taking care of the "we won't be seeing you in a million more years" family rounds). Basically, we really didn't do much exciting (I am sick to death of traveling, people) but we did go down to San Diego/Oceanside to wiggle our toes in Pacific Ocean goodness. And it was warm & relaxing on the beach that day. (despite being mid-October)

Pictures below:







I have to say, I love California beaches. Even if you feel like a great beached whale (and not up to the carefree frolicking of bikini-clad models & studly wetsuit surfer dudes) it does improve your mood. Even just for a few hours, it was nice.

And then, we came home to the East Coast blizzard...on the 6.5 hour flight to Philly, my Omnipod PDM died (two hours in), freaking me out. My "backup" syringe (brand new, in the package) proceeded to snap off as I removed it from the package & by that point,I really didn't see how I was going to avoid having to make a scene(4.5 more hours with no insulin (and an already skyrocketing bg) ? yeah, not happening) as I tried to patch the insulin syringe back into function-a-bility but it was impossible. Finally, I systematically searched through my purse and backpack (praying there would be at least one old syringe)...and there was. And it worked. And I took injections with that syringe, once every two hours as our 6.5 hour flight got pushed to a 7.5 hour hour flight as we circled the airport, as babies and toddlers screamed (and puked) filling the plane with lovely sounds (and smells) into the wee hours of the morning.(while their mothers did absolutely nothing,sans hold them. Did not attempt
to soothe,etc. or to tell them to be quiet) I could not WAIT to get off that plane, & meet up with my luggage.(hopefully) However...when we finally did get off the plane, our flight home had been cancelled(because of the East Coast blizzard) so no luggage was forthcoming.(they said it would be on a flight the next day). Well, by that point driving home had more appeal then spending the next 12 hours in the airport so we rented a car, and drove home.

In the rain. (but fortuanatly, not the snow)

Got home, inserted a new pod,and the PDM actually worked again..but the luggage didn't show up till the evening. I would venture to say that that was my most unpleasant flight,ever. (lesson learned: take at least five back-up syringes,because it was some sort of "communication error" and I doubt that it would have worked even if I'd have had a back-up pod)

Friday, November 11, 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

One and One and One (& Four)


(4 years anniversary today-& I have to say, that he is all of this & more). I am very fortuanete, good guys do exist out there. (which,when you've been through the dating mill makes you quadruple-ly thankful)

-----
The snap of the perinatologist's glove signified that the exam portion was, for all intents and purposes, over.


"How bad is it?"

(its bad, I know it's bad.The tech isn't saying anything, and if it were better, you'd be reassuring me by now. Just tell me, before I lose my mind.)


"About the same. Last time you were at a 26..now you're at a 27. It's the same."

Happy-happy-joy-joy. (NOT) So what does this mean?


"I think you're going to have to notify the NICU staff (etc.) about the possability of Bartter's Syndrome, so they'll be able to screen for that.(at birth) And you know better then anyone else about what all that means, you'll be doing some educating. (but you're probably used to that by now.) But it doesn't mean the baby has Bartters..your amniotic fluid levels aren't going up, & are not severely elevated, so it may not be that. You don't need an amnio, or any medication to reduce the levels .(at this point)"

"Will I need a C-Section?"

"Not necessarily. If everything else proceeds normally, you shouldn't."

"My blood sugars have been excellent."

"That's good-that can certainly play a role! The baby's weight is normal, & everything else looks good-have you had any contractions?"

"No."

(Confession: I'm not entirely sure what a contraction feels like, but I think that if I were having them, I'd likely know about it. Yeah, I get random abdominal pains occasionally but I think that with a contraction, your abdominal muscles tense up & that hasn't been the case)

"In a couple of weeks, you can begin Non-Stress tests/Biophysical Profiles(basically the NST plus the ultrasound). (1-2x a week?) "

Non-Stress tests= a whole new experience. As a nursing student, I actually got to explain to an anxious, laboring patient what the tracing meant. (all those peaks and dips and random blips) & knowing me, I'll form a conclusion about it long before the doctor enters the room because that's what nursing students do!

But for as much as I feel lost in the shuffle at the OB-GYN...at the high-risk office, I see the same perinatologist every time and I really like him. He is stellar. (about answering all my stupid questions & calming my fears)

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Dblog Day: An Ode to the DOC


Are YOU participating? (it's not that easy this year..I have no time to create a scrapbook page, and I don't feel like delving into said topic.) But I encourage you to not be like me. Really, if I'd have gotten my ducks in a row (1-2 months before this) , I'd probably be doing it. (it's enough to get my postcard project done for WDD!) I will say that online support (before there was a "DOC",) really helped me feel not so alone, in the early years of D. From the CWD chat I found out about insulin pumps (and rapid acting insulins), which changed my D-care for the better. If there weren't anything like that, I'd be floundering around alone & clueless with my diabetes management. (or who knows where I'd be) I'm so grateful for the fine D-folk I've met on the Internet...(and later, in real life) they have shaped my D-life in positive ways & some feel more like family, then friends. (I appreciate each & every one of you!!!!!!)

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

The Baby Shower

Want to know what completely rocks?



Surprise baby showers. And yes, it was a complete surprise because we get together with this group of friends ever so often..nothing out of the ordinary about that. Only this time,there was an ambush. (they had it all...food,cake,streamers,and presents!) We are so lucky to have a group of friends to put together something of this caliber for us.(any kind of shower just gives the recipient the warm fuzzies,though I wasn't expecting any since my family lives so far away) Despite the Ravens/Steelers jersey clashes, it was an otherwise amicable evening.

Now to get started writing thank you cards...

Monday, November 07, 2011

From the Newswire

Joslin Study Finds Clue to Birth Defects in Babies of Mothers with Diabetes

Stimulation of metabolism-sensing enzyme that can regulate crucial gene explains how free radicals generated during maternal hyperglycemia cause malformation of the neural tube

BOSTON – October 17, 2011 — In a paper published today in Diabetologia, a team at Joslin Diabetes Center, headed by Mary R. Loeken, PhD, has identified the enzyme AMP kinase (AMPK) as key to the molecular mechanism that significantly increases the risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida and some heart defects among babies born to women with diabetes.

Even if women with diabetes—either type 1 or type 2— work vigilantly to control their blood sugar levels around the time of conception, the risk of a defect is still twice that of the general population. This finding could lead to strategies to interfere with the mechanism and reduce the chances of such birth defects occurring.

Previous studies published by Loeken's lab showed that maternal hyperglycemia (high blood sugar) causes oxidative stress in the embryo, and inhibits expression of the Pax3 gene. Pax3 is essential to the formation of the neural tube, which in the embryo is the precursor to the brain and spinal cord. Oxidative stress results when oxidized molecules – called free radicals – are created faster than they can be eliminated.

However, Loeken said, it was not known how the cells that express Pax3 could sense the oxidative stress and why oxidative stress, which occurs throughout the embryo, only damages selective structures such as the neural tube.

In the paper published today, Loeken’s team identifies the key to the process as AMP kinase, which is activated by oxidative stress and was found to signal the cell nucleus to block the expression of Pax3.

“The stimulation of a metabolism-sensing enzyme that can regulate specific genes explains how oxidative stress, which is generated throughout the embryo during maternal hyperglycemia, causes malformation of specific embryo structures,” Loeken said.

“We now know that we must do whatever we can to prevent AMPK from being stimulated,” said Loeken, who is a research investigator in Joslin’s Section on Islet Cell and Regenerative Biology.

Trying to keep the mother’s blood glucose levels under control is currently the only way to do that, she noted. “That’s the best we can do right now,” she said. But armed with the findings of this study, she noted, other researchers may be able to come up with drugs or other strategies to inhibit AMPK activity,

Dr. Loeken added, however, that formulating a strategy could be tricky because it is not known if interfering with AMPK activity -- while a good thing in preventing neural tube birth defects -- might also have negative effects on the embryo.

In their study Loeken and her group, including Yichao Wu, Marta Viana, and Shoba Thirumangalathu, used mice and cell lines to test their hypothesis that AMPK might be stimulated in the embryo and that stimulation of AMPK was responsible for blocking Pax3 expression and causing neural tube defects in response to high glucose.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
“We found in this study that AMPK is stimulated in embryo by both high glucose and oxidative stress,” Loeken said.

The study used interventions including a drug that activates AMPK and another that blocks it. The paper showed that a drug that increased AMPK activity mimics the effects of oxidative stress to inhibit expression of Pax3, thus inducing neural tube defects.

This research was supported by a grant from the National Institutes of Health.

(moral of the story is...just another way diabetes contrives to complicate matters)
-----------------------------

This product looks pretty cool. According to the JDRF "Discoveries" magazine,(fall 2010) preliminary research (at Yale) has been promising,showing increased insulin absorption time/peak levels/increased clearance. This is pretty cool, because with the Artificial Pancreas system that is being developed...faster acting insulins are a MUST. (it can't very well keep your blood sugar in a normal range with such slow-acting insulins) The system that's in place now...its an improvement,but it still has light years to go & I don't think that most people would consider it a "cure" in any sense of the word.(needs much better CGM technology/faster acting insulins) Take it from the person that has to pre-bolus cereal 30-40 minutes in advance...some foods are just glycemic murder. Insulins such as Apidra/Novolog/Humalog start working within 15-20 minutes, but it is very much YMMV. Such technology is years away from being approved (& perhaps decades, if the FDA is involved) but anything that gives that insulin a little extra "boost" start time is a good idea, in my book. (in the meantime,I guess we're stuck with taking hot showers/hot tubs)

Sunday, November 06, 2011

The Weekend Green Clean

Yay-day #6 of NaPoBloMo. But as Colleen pointed out, no one much reads blogs on Saturdays/Sundays...unless its some other blogger in the same boat!

So yesterday, we had our carpets cleaned. This involved eviscerating the contents of the basement onto the outside deck,moving the dining room contents into the kitchen, etc. Project Nursery had to be stacked in the Junk Room (aka, the only room in the house with carpet that wasn't being cleaned)...basically, it was pretty chaotic. (beginning the evening before)

The next morning,(around 10 AM) they showed up and commenced to cleaning the house. As you're probably aware, carpet cleaning chemicals can be pretty nasty (read: lethal) stuff, & you're supposed to be out of the house while they're doing the treatments. Well, with this place (using nontoxic stuff) it wasn't quite that imperitive to be out of the house...you just had to be in a room that wasn't undergoing treatment. (that room would be the kitchen) We have two cats, a baby on the way,& the toxic crap they use to clean carpets is decidedly NON-APPEALING. (say what you may) And the cost, comparitively, was about what it would be with the traditional method.

I ran some errands, getting back about noon. The cleaning team they sent out was composed of two guys...one of whom did the actual work, the other one did the talking. (the instant I walked through the door, he started talking, and didn't "finish" until 2 solid hours later) It was like listening to a Billy Mays infomercial. What did he talk about? A little bit of everything...the evils of large carpet cleaning corporations (in particular, ChemDry, who was apparently resposible for the death of Jett Travolta), the physiology of cat puke/urine/etc. & how to treat such stains to GET THEM OUT FULLY, past horror stories of the houses they had cleaned,(that had gone the traditional cleaning route) the state of the economy, what products we needed to get(that were Au Natrale), how Gerber/Mott's is poisoning us (and the babies)with arsenic-laden apple juice from China(64 parts per million,vs the "safe" 3 per million) , Dr. Oz, how talc based powders will give you leukemia/etc., and on and on and on. In the meantime, it's not like we could go anywhere...the cleaning was still going on. So we sat in the kitchen, ate lunch,and listened to him talk. Two hours, people.

But they did a good job, I'll give them that much. The huge yellow splotch that resides in the future Baby Nursery has at least, significantly shrunk. They seemed to think it was from cat urine (and I was duly scolded never to treat such a stain with an OXY based product, but I didn't know what it was from) . I don't think that stain will ever come out fully, we'd have to "patch" swap it out if we ever sold the house. (it's not very large, 2" x 1", perhaps) I think I have permenatly leached the natural color out of the carpet.And they know what they're talking about...they know how to do their jobs. (as well as educate the masses about carpet care) I'm a firm believer in "going green" when it comes to cleaning your house (if possible). It's much safer for your pets. (and for human beings as well)

The carpets took awhile to dry (about 16 hours), so we had to put on plastic booties to walk around till this morning. (and then, we put everything back as it was) As per the carpet warranty, you actually have to have your carpets cleaned every 2 years (at least)...and if you have cats, you're probably going to be doing it 1-2x a year. (at the least) Our cats are getting older, but one of them still pees (not in the litter box) and the other one pukes, so heck yes the carpet is getting constant action. (I can only imagine what it will be like with a child in the mix)

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Hope

Have you met Hope?

Hope wears a medical alert, the latest Keds tennis shoes...and a smile that will melt your heart.

Hope is in the "All clear" from the eye doctor.

Hope travels thousands of miles to meet up with 40+ DOC'rs. (sight unseen)

Hope is a virus, & I wish everyone could catch it!

Hope beats strong on the fetal Doppler.(& in your own heart as well)

Hope is in the research labs...it's a fine time to be a mouse or a rat!!

Hope is painful,hope can't settle for status quo.

Hope gives up Saturdays to walk,bike,& walk for a cure.

Hope sells sugar-free lemonade(& Girl Scout Cookies) towards that cure.

Hope never dies..but it can disappear for weeks/months/years on end.

Hope & I are not best buds...but we need each other,more then words can say.(we are more then casual aquantinces)

Hope needs its own RX pad.

Hope savors each victory, & forgives past mistakes.

I hope you've met Hope...cure or not,we all need to believe things will get better.


Friday, November 04, 2011

29 Weeks

Dear Baby,


Wow, 29 weeks? I barely remember those early weeks of bemoaning that it would never, ever,be obvious that you are in there...because in the past 5 weeks, its now become that(to the world). Ah, the joys of the third trimester.(most notably:back muscles turned to silly putty,heartburn,and random strikes of shortness of breath) As for low blood sugars,they aren't really much of a concern these days...I'm not going to say they're non-existent,but the likelihood of a serious one is slightly higher then the likelihood of getting hit by a random meteor. Daily TDD is 50 units and climbing. (it should continue to climb for the next 6-7 weeks)

And...the never ending doctor appointments. Now that it's the third trimester, I go to the OBGYN every two weeks. (starting around week 32,that will be switching to weekly with the OBGYN) As for the perinatologist, up to this point I've gone in every four weeks but depending on the results of next week's ultrasound I may be going in every week from that point onwards. (non-stress test, biophysical profile) The last ultrasound showed normal weight,etc.but the amniotic fluid index was elevated (which could be due to diabetes, and could be due to genetic diseases...such as Bartters Syndrome)I wasn't happy at all to find that out but the perinatologist told me it could be from many different reasons,(sometimes unknown)none of which could be determined at this point & the important thing was to monitor it closely. Sometimes it just goes away on its own,& if the levels greatly increase by the next ultrasound its most likely to be from a genetic cause.(he didn't seem to think that the cause was from diabetes.And I might beg to differ,given that I'm still no diabetes angel cc "results of last a1c" but still,the 'betes control is in the "fair" category) The important thing is to monitor the whole package(any signs of swelling,high blood pressure,contractions,movement etc)and to try not to freak out too much about this one finding. (and I don't have any of that...to date) Baby X is still pretty active in there. (he's always been active,which is comforting, in a world full of uncertainty)

There have been no references to the C word (CSection)...actually,there have been no references to labor, period. (I'm guessing that with diabetes,there's just no way to say "you'll likely be able to due this naturally" when the world can turn on a dime,& the most important thing is deliver the baby,ASAP. I guess that in the next few weeks that Csection word is going to become a reality if my amniotic fluid volume doesn't go down. Which, after you've actually been in an OR and seen all the gory details live is not a comforting thought.

But the most important thing is a healthy baby.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


It's impossible to stay mad at someone offering you a diet coke...(or,these days, a diet caffeine less coke!)

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

The Babies R' US Marathon


And so,on Monday night (partially to avoid the roaming throngs of sugar-crazed Trick or Treaters, many of whom were adolescents(and not cute at all) my husband & I took a trip to Babies R' Us. (for the first time) It was a kind of "get your feet wet" trip, to see what was out there...but we ended up spending about 2.5 hours in there. The game plan was NOT to make any major purchases until we know what some friends are giving us.(rumor has it, a bassinet & they already did give us a stroller thingie,car seat,& several other odds and ends,which is really nice of them because my family members are still using all their baby stuff) But apparently, there isn't any separate infant carrier that snaps into the car seat...which presents a real problem,because every single one of the 3 aisles(and 200+ options) of infant carriers also had car seats attached. I guess we'll have to look up that particular model online(and see if you can even get the infant carrier separately) In the meantime, we roamed around putting various odds and ends on our registry (in a mostly deserted store...since all the other parents were out doing Halloween stuff with the kiddos(except the first-time parents-to-be) and got a few essentials that it was highly unlikely anyone would buy for us.(like a changing pad,which we'll put on my desk to convert into a changing table,& a baby bath mat to fit into the sink) When you go into Babies R' Us though,you're pretty much going to BLEED money (and find "essential" items that you absolutely cannot live without. (even with the best of intentions) I also intend to get a breast pump,but looking at all of those options put my brain into complete shutdown...all those options/prices/not having a clue what I'd need. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person to have a mental breakdown in the middle of that store though. (or to spend too much) All in all, I think we controlled ourselves pretty well though. (on the spending) Even my husband,(your own spouse may vary...most of them would probably rather stay home and watch Monday Night Football)who is less-then-enthusiastic about shopping/spending money got into it.(and appeared to have fun)

And now I know how much I absolutely don't know about all of this...yet somehow,all of these "essential must-have" items that kids 40 years ago didn't have (and turned out just fine) that they encourage somehow turn up on the vast majority of parents-to-be lists. Of course, there are the basics...and the things that really,really,make it easier to keep your baby happy(like swings,etc) but deciphering what you really need is kind of difficult when it's your very first kid.(you could walk in there and blow a couple of grand, I'm sure)

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

November Follies

NaBloPoMo 2011


Every year, I say I won't do/can't wait for NaPoBloMo to end..and yet every year,I feel suckered into doing it. Last year,I forgo it(due to arm surgery). But November is such an interesting month,chockful of significant diabetes related events,personal anniversaries,birthdays,holidays, etc. (if ever there was a month that I could pull off 30/30, this would be the one)I've yet to recount my experiences with the NYC trip "Simonpalooza" several weeks ago..and I'm sure the world really,really,really wants to hear about the never ending litany of medical appointments that I go to, these days.(as well as nursery pics) As well as last week's "pump failure at 32,000 feet" fiasco.

So, if you choose to stick around, I'm sure it won't be all boring. Because I certainly have plenty of blog fodder. (due to being severely delinquent in said posting duties)