Saturday, May 02, 2015

Better

"I want you to promise me something, Heidi."

"Sure." (ANYTHING. Dear Lord,what am I doing,what am I even saying? Stop.Stop right now before he asks you to get your a1c to 4 & you agreed to this? No.)

" I want you to promise me that you will fight for you,to not give up on this, to not give up on yourself,you need this. You are worth it. And I want you to live a good long life, with sixty more years."

Yes. Yes. YES. Of course I was going to agree to that, that I was going to plow forward, to keep up the fight, to continue the struggle to keep up my magnesium issues. Never a question. As I hugged my nephrologist goodbye that day, it was never an issue that I was going to not try.

And here I am, 12 months later,with his colleague,who is about as interesting as a block of wood. Also said colleague is not very knowledgable about magnesium deficiency and gets heart palpitations if my levels go below 1.2. Also we don't have conversations,we have one sided monologues where he expects me to obey without question. Also I don't think he cares about me as a person,at all,because he doesn't even bother with small talk. I miss my old doctor. And I know that better is out there,but since I've been spoiled with excellent I probably won't be able to find it.I wish I could though,because I know my old nephrologist would want that for me.

Gahhhhhhhhh.

No comments: